Vonnegut's Voice

I really wonder what gives us the right to wreck this poor planet of ours.
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Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
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Human beings are chimpanzees who get crazy drunk on power. By saying that our leaders are power-drunk chimpanzees, am I in danger of wrecking the morale of our soldiers fighting and dying in the Middle East? Their morale, like so many bodies, is already shot to pieces. They are being treated, as I never was, like toys a rich kid got for Christmas. (via Eddie C)
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True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
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There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.
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Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
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And my favorite:

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you differen